I’ve been out to my friends, and have talked about it on social media but I haven’t had the conversation with my family. Unfortunately, due to the outcome of this election, I didn’t have a chance to officially come out to my family members in the way I wanted. I’m upset about that quite a bit but there’s nothing more I can really do. I figure I might as well use this platform to talk about how I’d actually want to come out to them.
Obviously I wanted to sit down with those in my life that I care about and tell them. I’d start by letting them know that this is who I’ve been for the 25 years I’ve been on this planet and I’ve been unsure of how they’d react that I didn’t want to be me for so long. If they’d take me seriously or just shrug it off as a phase as they have many things in my life. I’d explain that I’m nonbinary, but some days I feel more like a femme boy than anything else. Taking hormones has crossed my mind many times and is likely something I’m going to pursue when I feel like it’s safe for me to do so. I’d also explain that for the most part, I’m comfortable with my body. I like how soft it is, the curves I have but I hate my voice, and my face. The biggest thing that causes me dysphoria is my hair’s length and not being able to find an androgynous cut that works well with my face shape. I’d mention that I like wearing dresses and playing with makeup, just as much as I like wearing a binder and a tanktop or button up shirt. That my appearance is mine to play with and have fun with. Clothes, activities, accessories all have no gender.
I’d explain that my pronouns are neutral. She/her/hers never felt right and neither does he/his/him. They/them/their on the other hand? Feels absolutely perfect, much like finding a winter coat that’s like a warm hug. I’d talk to them about how much I cringe whenever the full version of my birth name is used. No one calls me that anymore and it makes me uncomfortable to hear it. The first three letters are awesome, the last three not so much.
I’d finish by telling them that I love them and I hope they’d respect my choices and who I am. That nothing has really changed except for the fact that I’m done hiding and being afraid of being me.
That’s how I would’ve done it.