My Gender Journey; Now What?

In my last post I wrote about a video where the blogger was spot on with how I’m feeling when to comes to my gender. 

So now that my feelings about my gender have been affirmed, where do I go from here? How do I get friends, family, or strangers to take my identity seriously? These are all things I’m going to talk about when I finally force myself to attend the Trans and Nonbinary support group this month.

I really don’t know where I’m going from here. I guess the first thing to do is stop being afraid to correct people when they misgender me. And stand up for myself when someone tells me that I don’t exist. I should probably have “the talk” with my parents too but it’s awkward. It would be SO much easier for me if I fit into society’s box of what “trans people look like.” But of course not! I need to make things complicated by being nonbinary, feminine AND a trans boy (boi?). I know they won’t care or be upset or anything like that but still. How do you tell your friends, family, strangers, and other loved ones that while you like to wear dresses and play with makeup you’re really a trans boy/boi. Plus how do you explain that you don’t want to be called a man because it doesn’t feel like you.

How do you explain that you don’t hate your body completely and that surgery may not be something you ever pursue? I’m sure some will throw that in my face as “not being trans enough” but it’s true! My breasts are small enough that they’re just there and are easy-ish to make disappear. My front bits don’t bother me unless it decides to bleed. Then we have problems. But I’ve been on a form of birth control that has left me with no bleeding so that’s no biggie. Like the one thing I’d change with my body is my shape and my face. I want a more androgynous look more than anything.

I guess my next step will be a surprise to all of us! Wish me luck!

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6 thoughts on “My Gender Journey; Now What?

  1. I totally get it – trying to feel out and carve out a space in between. I was fine enough with my chest for a very long time, because they were small enough that it was essentially ok. I just wanted (and still want ) to be more androgynous. I did end up getting top surgery, but only after years and years of thinking it through. I started with little steps and went from there…

    • I really appreciate knowing that there are others out there that have felt a similar way that I’ve been. It really means a lot. Thank you so much for sharing your experience! :]

  2. I’ve felt the same way! I think I might identify as genderqueer, but I’m still trying to figure out what that looks like for me. Thanks for sharing about your gender journey!

    • You don’t have to have a set definition of what being genderqueer looks like for you to identify that way. I’ve changed what it looks like to me. Keep exploring and keep learning and don’t let anyone tell you how to identify.

      Thank you for reading about my journey. :]

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