In my last post I wrote about a video where the blogger was spot on with how I’m feeling when to comes to my gender.
So now that my feelings about my gender have been affirmed, where do I go from here? How do I get friends, family, or strangers to take my identity seriously? These are all things I’m going to talk about when I finally force myself to attend the Trans and Nonbinary support group this month.
I really don’t know where I’m going from here. I guess the first thing to do is stop being afraid to correct people when they misgender me. And stand up for myself when someone tells me that I don’t exist. I should probably have “the talk” with my parents too but it’s awkward. It would be SO much easier for me if I fit into society’s box of what “trans people look like.” But of course not! I need to make things complicated by being nonbinary, feminine AND a trans boy (boi?). I know they won’t care or be upset or anything like that but still. How do you tell your friends, family, strangers, and other loved ones that while you like to wear dresses and play with makeup you’re really a trans boy/boi. Plus how do you explain that you don’t want to be called a man because it doesn’t feel like you.
How do you explain that you don’t hate your body completely and that surgery may not be something you ever pursue? I’m sure some will throw that in my face as “not being trans enough” but it’s true! My breasts are small enough that they’re just there and are easy-ish to make disappear. My front bits don’t bother me unless it decides to bleed. Then we have problems. But I’ve been on a form of birth control that has left me with no bleeding so that’s no biggie. Like the one thing I’d change with my body is my shape and my face. I want a more androgynous look more than anything.
I guess my next step will be a surprise to all of us! Wish me luck!